2005 SUCKED!
I, for one, am very happy to see the end of 2005. It was easily the worst year of my life. I never knew true pain, depression or understood people that considered suicide until this year...and now that I have felt all of this (and continue to do so) I can empathize.
Maybe anything and everything can be seen in a positive light but I am a factual person and I prefer brutal truth to sugar coating, here was some of the "ugly" from 2005:
Cancer came back, spreading itself nicely throughout my lymph nodes on route to my lungs. No it's didn't meet it's final destination, had it I very well may be dead. I suppose beating it is good but having it was bad, and treating it was ugly. Writing a will at my age is also a haunting experience.
I lost the love of my life. No, not a person but rather my job at CNE. My home, my base, my reason for getting up in the morning, my purpose, my direction...all gone. I still haven't unpacked my desk from there. It sits in a bag at the end of my bed and I just can't bring myself to go through it. I still love that job and cry myself to sleep most nights.
I was informed that my marriage was invalid...and that I was still married to my ex-husband, thus, I could be deported from the US at any time...and I am a bigamist. All because of a paperwork mess up over 3 years ago that I would have known nothing about.
Went to Arizona to teach some private classes, got underpaid and treated like a whore by some disgusting man with the ugliest cock I have ever seen. He booked a class, but really wanted a peep show and when he didn't get it got nasty in a passive aggressive way. Left AZ, emotionally scarred and am rethinking teaching classes at all as a result.
And this is just what happened to me. Don;t even get me started on all of the break ups and deaths of the year. I really need 2006 to be better or I dare say I will not see 2007.
Maybe anything and everything can be seen in a positive light but I am a factual person and I prefer brutal truth to sugar coating, here was some of the "ugly" from 2005:
Cancer came back, spreading itself nicely throughout my lymph nodes on route to my lungs. No it's didn't meet it's final destination, had it I very well may be dead. I suppose beating it is good but having it was bad, and treating it was ugly. Writing a will at my age is also a haunting experience.
I lost the love of my life. No, not a person but rather my job at CNE. My home, my base, my reason for getting up in the morning, my purpose, my direction...all gone. I still haven't unpacked my desk from there. It sits in a bag at the end of my bed and I just can't bring myself to go through it. I still love that job and cry myself to sleep most nights.
I was informed that my marriage was invalid...and that I was still married to my ex-husband, thus, I could be deported from the US at any time...and I am a bigamist. All because of a paperwork mess up over 3 years ago that I would have known nothing about.
Went to Arizona to teach some private classes, got underpaid and treated like a whore by some disgusting man with the ugliest cock I have ever seen. He booked a class, but really wanted a peep show and when he didn't get it got nasty in a passive aggressive way. Left AZ, emotionally scarred and am rethinking teaching classes at all as a result.
And this is just what happened to me. Don;t even get me started on all of the break ups and deaths of the year. I really need 2006 to be better or I dare say I will not see 2007.
posted by Chanta Rose: Bondage Expert at 2:30 PM
5 Comments:
I won't say that things can't possibly get any worse, as I'm sure there is a Murphy's Law that states otherwise. I will say that it can't get much worse.
Take heart that you are a very well respected and very interesting human being with intelligent things to say and there are very eager people out here that can't wait to hear them.
Not everybody is like that person from Arizona. I know that it's really turned you off, but maybe just eliminate private classes from your repertoire? You've got scads of things you can teach a person. Please don't let yourself be turned off by one bad experience.
Speaking as someone who's been trying to find a job that he likes, and as a result, I've been through 3 this past 2 years, I can definitely say that there is not just the one job out there. There are others. Great ones, not so great ones... the fun part is the hunt... well, maybe not so much, but there is another one out there. ;-)
You beat the hell out of Cancer. How many people can say that they've done that? Not many. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, Grasshopper (couldn't resist).
Take heart. 2006 has a statistically less chance of suckitude than 2005. You rock and need to keep doing what you're doing to continue rocking.
Michael Beck
ps - You'd be most welcome in Canada if some dough-head decided to deport you.
Hi Suze,
Thanks for the kind words. The fact is, the other Dom's did very well out of me being fired. Claire, for example, only gets booked because I am NOT there. If I was there, there would be no need for her. I don't know her, she isn't a friend. Donna always wanted waterbondage. I hired and trained Donna and she has also done well out of me being canned.
As for fans writing in, well what can I say. I needed that 9 months ago when maybe it would have made a difference. Now, I don;t think anything would. They have a woman in charge who hates me and she will never take me back.
Oh, the decision to can me wasn't financial either. I created profitable site and worked 12 hour days, there was no $$$ reason behind it; just politics and hatred.
loved you at waterbondage, I found that site very inspiring as an artist (visual arts, painting) and it is one of the very few paysites I've ever subscribed to for any length of time. I had to cancel a while before you left that venture. I just wanted to say it was really lovely and I'm sure anything you do in the future will be as well, and I have no intention of subscribing to any CNE sites after reading this post...best wishes
Tyranni
I wish I had some good advice, I really wish I had. For what it's worth, whoever is in charge of CNE is a fool to let you go. I know of Waterbondage and its related sites, even though I never came around to signing up to any of them, but judging by the preview pictures it's obvious you were the most gorgeous model and one of the best riggers they'll ever have. Now I have no reason to ever signing up. I hope you take pako's advice and give yourself the job you loved. If nothing else, I sincerely hope you overcome all obstacles and find yourself living your life as you always dreamed it would be soon enough. Hang in there.
Post a Comment
<< Home