Editing the Porno!!!
The last few weeks have been crazy hectic but then, when is that not the case in my life? There was a couple of dates that were signifigant also.
April 5th marked 4 years since Marty proposed to me at the Tickle Pink Inn in Carmel. We drove down on Friday (04/04), getting some breakfast at the 3 Zero Cafe on the way (it's a cool little place next to an airstrip) and then spent the night in a gorgeous suit with jacuzzi and fireplace overlooking the cliffs and ocean. On 04/05 we explored Monterey a little bit. We did not go to the aquarium this time because it was a weekend and we knew it would be full of screaming kids!
April 11th marked D-day...which to me is of course the day I as canned over at the dark glob. I got a little upset the night before but the day itself passed by without me even thinking about it. I had 2 Chanta's Bitches shoots ith Amber Rayne that day so I as able to keep very busy. It was also the first real hot day of the year which meant we were going to have a beautiful weekend in SF! Don't think that I am not still hurt. There is a loss inside me that I doubt will ever be filled...sometimes it's rage, sometimes it's sadness, sometimes it is even relief....but thankfully it is no longer depression. Other emotions I can compete with but depression just knocks me on my ass in every way.
This week is all about editing and trying to relax. When I have been shooting too much I start to lose my patience with models...well, the difficult ones at least. Instead of being able to ask every 5 minutes "are you okay honey, is this okay?", I just stop asking....and instead of being the caring director I usually am to models I become a director focused on nothing but getting the product we need. Friday was my last day of shooting until Tuesday next week....10 days off of shooting! Woohoo!!!
April 5th marked 4 years since Marty proposed to me at the Tickle Pink Inn in Carmel. We drove down on Friday (04/04), getting some breakfast at the 3 Zero Cafe on the way (it's a cool little place next to an airstrip) and then spent the night in a gorgeous suit with jacuzzi and fireplace overlooking the cliffs and ocean. On 04/05 we explored Monterey a little bit. We did not go to the aquarium this time because it was a weekend and we knew it would be full of screaming kids!
April 11th marked D-day...which to me is of course the day I as canned over at the dark glob. I got a little upset the night before but the day itself passed by without me even thinking about it. I had 2 Chanta's Bitches shoots ith Amber Rayne that day so I as able to keep very busy. It was also the first real hot day of the year which meant we were going to have a beautiful weekend in SF! Don't think that I am not still hurt. There is a loss inside me that I doubt will ever be filled...sometimes it's rage, sometimes it's sadness, sometimes it is even relief....but thankfully it is no longer depression. Other emotions I can compete with but depression just knocks me on my ass in every way.
This week is all about editing and trying to relax. When I have been shooting too much I start to lose my patience with models...well, the difficult ones at least. Instead of being able to ask every 5 minutes "are you okay honey, is this okay?", I just stop asking....and instead of being the caring director I usually am to models I become a director focused on nothing but getting the product we need. Friday was my last day of shooting until Tuesday next week....10 days off of shooting! Woohoo!!!
posted by Chanta Rose: Bondage Expert at 9:42 AM
1 Comments:
Chanta,
Quit worrying about those people at the dark glob. They sit around and talk about how you talk about them. They did what they did to hurt you and they are still hurting you.
Eventually your bitterness (however justified) will build up and effect the people who stood by you when you were in trouble, your true friends. Sympathy only goes so far.
You have taken an important step in starting your own business. Focus your energies there. Don't even acknowledge their freaking existence. The chickens always come home to roost. Already one of your their sites you founded has failed. The revenues fell off because it lacked your creative spark.
Content-wise it is already obvious they have nothing on you. In time your revenues will increase, your operation expand. Some of those same people that put their heads down and looked away when you needed support will come to you with their tails tucked between their legs, begging for work.
With independent, professional success you won't even care.
Sincerely,
Rupert
P.S. I've noticed you are brutally candid in your comments. While I think it hilarious, some don't. Especially those you are critical of. Never, ever do or say anything that would prevent someone from finding work elsewhere. It could come back to haunt you.
Take care and remember to keep moving forward no matter how you feel.
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