Editing the Porno!!!

The last few weeks have been crazy hectic but then, when is that not the case in my life? There was a couple of dates that were signifigant also.

April 5th marked 4 years since Marty proposed to me at the Tickle Pink Inn in Carmel. We drove down on Friday (04/04), getting some breakfast at the 3 Zero Cafe on the way (it's a cool little place next to an airstrip) and then spent the night in a gorgeous suit with jacuzzi and fireplace overlooking the cliffs and ocean. On 04/05 we explored Monterey a little bit. We did not go to the aquarium this time because it was a weekend and we knew it would be full of screaming kids!

April 11th marked D-day...which to me is of course the day I as canned over at the dark glob. I got a little upset the night before but the day itself passed by without me even thinking about it. I had 2 Chanta's Bitches shoots ith Amber Rayne that day so I as able to keep very busy. It was also the first real hot day of the year which meant we were going to have a beautiful weekend in SF! Don't think that I am not still hurt. There is a loss inside me that I doubt will ever be filled...sometimes it's rage, sometimes it's sadness, sometimes it is even relief....but thankfully it is no longer depression. Other emotions I can compete with but depression just knocks me on my ass in every way.

This week is all about editing and trying to relax. When I have been shooting too much I start to lose my patience with models...well, the difficult ones at least. Instead of being able to ask every 5 minutes "are you okay honey, is this okay?", I just stop asking....and instead of being the caring director I usually am to models I become a director focused on nothing but getting the product we need. Friday was my last day of shooting until Tuesday next week....10 days off of shooting! Woohoo!!!