I love Chapel St!

Had a really nice day today doing one of my favorite things here: going to Chapel St and enjoying the shopping, restaurants and cafes! Mum and I had lunch at Chapelli's which i just love...if you ever feel the need for a steaming bowl of pasta at 3am in Melbourne then this is the place to go. Then I did some shopping and got a couple of dresses...one really nice one for Xmas at the in-laws. I didn't expect to buy much (and honestly, I didn't...a usual shopping spree for me on Chapel St is around $3000 in one afternoon) because all of the fashion here right now is for Summer, and as much as I love it it is just pointless to buy cothes I will never get to enjoy living in SF...so I was a very sensible...and even found a gorgeous little wool dress perfect for the chilly city!!1

My trip is almost over...in less than 48 hours I'll board the plane back to the USA. I have really had a great time but I have to say the timing is perfect. 6 days here was great. My only regret is Marty not being here with me...I've been calling him at least daily to tell him I miss him and wish he was here....plus I love the corny tourist shit like feeding kangaroos, etc but I won't do that stuff alone.

Take care,
Chanta

Ugh, Fucking Parents

Sometimes kids need to learn lessons the hard way...don't trust your parents with your money, investments, etc. A year and a half ago I moved all of my ASX investments to an etrade account. As I do not live in Australia all of my mail would go to my Dad's house (mmm, does this sound familiar, my credit card going to my Mum's...). I own blue chip shares that i do not study, I hold on to them for years so this acount was set up and basically left to sit just as I wanted it to be. Over the past year, I have occassionally checked on the share price of some of the stocks I own and I certainly made a good investment in MAH...so goood in fact that i decided I would probably selll while out here this time after having doubled my money.

So, imagine my surprise when I log on to etrade and see that I own no MAH at all...actually I sold them back in April, 2006 for 0.81 cents (now they're $1.85)...now, instead my money is in ARQ who i have never fucking heard of...and who I might add is fucking TANKING. Thanks Dad. I know you thought you were helping but you just cost me thousands of dollars and guess what, just like your ex-wife you coommitted fraud. You never asked me if you could sell my shares, you were never supposed to be logging into MY etrade account at all.

I am really, really fucking mad.....

Anyway, lesson learnt. I should have known not to trust my slot machine addict mother with my mail but I thought I was safe with my multi-millionaire father. Guess not.

Past Love is a Strange Thing...

One of the main reasons I am out in Australia this week is to clear out the room in my Mum's house where I have been storing my shit foor the past 14 years. This is basically sentimental things mixed in with old clothes and home appliances that I had here when i used to think I would move back. Since officially leaving Australia as my residence in early 1998 I think it is now safe to say that I do not need to keep my microwave, etc and even if I was ever going to move back it would be time to buy a new one LOL!!!

As I go through archive boxes of ornaments and photos it is almost like watching someone else's life. There are things I want to keep but they are also things I do not want to ever have in my US home. For example, my wedding album from my first marriage...back when I was a 19 year old saying yes to any guy that asked. The 4 years I spent with Garry were fine. He was a nice guy, head over heels in love with me and I was a workaholic supporting him and resenting paying for his trips around the world with me...because he could not bare for me to travel alone. I do regret losing those 4 years but at the same time he was a very nice man that genuinely wanted me to love him....I just wasn't able to, no matter how hard I tried. So, for the lack of love I showered him with gifts and overseas trips. Seeing photos from them is strange, as I feel no emotional connection whatsoever, just as I never did during our marriage, yet I will not thorw the pictures away.

Then I came across a small collection of photos and e-mails from Rory. Rory was mt boyfriend just before I moved to London...he movied to Scotland and I moved to London around the same time and we attempted to continue the courtship. My idea of that was complete loyalty and his was to cheat on me with every scottish lass he could find. As I had never been monogamous oin my life I would have normally been fine with this except that he did it behind my back....and I was in love with him. So I'm sitting here reading e-mails where his words of affection are "I really miss having sex with you"" and "When i think of you I remember a cleanly shaven nymph with the personality of 2 that would fuck me stupid like no one I have ever known" and it still affects me now. Not because I still love him but because I remember feeling like, hey, I'm in love with you...you as a person, and you are in love with my body and my sex drive....and then I would feel like an object. Objectificatoon may be a huge fetish for some, I even like inflicting that feeling on my bitches at times but to me it was very upsetting.

Sex may be the way many relationships start, and I will always agree that it is important but for some it does not turn into more. Marty and I certainly started all about sex but there is no way that because of the great sex that he would take care of me after the 2 cancer operations and through my years of (continuing) depression at what the dark glob did. Thank god I have more than just great sex (although that is awesome too).....

Down Under!

Writing from my Mum's house in Melbourne. Usually when I'm out here I feel suffocated within a few days...which is why I plan these flying visits (eg. this one is only 6 days...I fly 17 hours to be here for 6 days LOL) but I am really enjoying this trip. It's nice to train my Mum's dogs, and spend time with my brother (who I thought may be too busy but took time off work to see me). I wish Marty was here but he'll just have to come out next time!

The smalllest little rituals make you smile when you go back too where you grew up. For me, it's having a flake shake at Wendy's, going to see a movie in the "La Premiere" Hoyt's cinemas at Chadstone Shopping Centre, driving around my old school, stocking up on Tim Tam's and caramello koala's too bring back to the US with me.

Take care,
Chanta

The week so far....

Here's a basic rundown LOL:

More mercy killing as I catch 2 mice at the Twisted Factory (after they ate my jaffa cakes...bastards). Caught them in glue, whacked them over the head with a tool...apparently now my PA is traumatized!!!

Booked flight to Melbourne. I fly out on Friday night, land on Sunday and return the following Saturday. Just a quick visit...mainly to clean out any stuff I still have at my Mum's house as she may be selling it next year.

Lot's of dog walking with Memphis. He is doing very well in his training (of course, I do have some experience in training LOL) and loves to play off leash at Alamo Square.

The fucking Factory is FREEZING! Have ordered some big propane heaters for the space. I will not shoot in the cold.

The "Hostel" set is coming along nicely. It is going to have a really creepy serial killer feel to it when done!

Had lunch with one my favorite squeezes yesterday: Madison Young. Nice to spend the afternoon with her after wtaching her get fucked in the ass by Otto Bauer for Fucked&Bound!

And the usual stuff; paying bills, cooking for my man, getting updates ready.

take care,
Chanta

So close....

Today is the day when I almsot needed to report my mother for fraud.

About a month ago I logged onto my Australian accounts just to see how they were doing. I have had these acccounts since I was a teenager and have a fair amount of savings there (actually, it's what I consider a small amount except that the US $ isn't worth piss so actually it's now quite a bit LOL). When I travel to Oz I never spend any o/s funds, I just use my Oz accounts. My credit card there is kept in credit of $500 at all times and has not been used since March, 2006 so imagine my surprise when my online banking says I owe $4700! Of course I freaked out and reported the card stolen, etc, and then the bank starts reading off the charges. Fucking grocery shopping and house bills....

My mom stole my credit card. She does not have one herself because she put over a million dollars into slot machines a few years back....basically she does not have one because she should not have one...but she has helped herself to mine. I was very, very upset. I don't really have "family" these days. My husband is pretty much it. My little brother grew up and doesn;t think hanging out with big sister is cool anymore, my Dad has disowned because of the "Bondage for Sex" book...and now my mom steals my visa card.

I have not received a pay cheque in 2 years so I could not have given her a lot but if she had have told me she was struggling I could have found $2000 or so for her (not as a loan, as a gift). When I told her this she said she would never ask me for money...um, no, you'll just take my fucking visa card and then fuck up my credit record in Australia.

Anyway, shhe asked me to give her a month...and I don't know where she got the money from but the card is paid off in full. Sure, the $500 credit is gone but I'm not going to be petty about that. I am just relieved. I would not have hesitated to report her...she's a grown woman that should have known better and needs to learn to work out her own messes.

Take care,
Chanta

I think I have Snapped...

I need to find time to go down to BoA and close out every fucking account. Wells Fargo, here I come.

Out with a BANG!

Yesterday I shot my last day with Sandra Romain. She did 2 scenes for Captive Male with a couple of my best subs on the site and goddamn did she bring it! Usually when someone is coming to the end of their career, whatever it may be, they get a bit lazy. Regardless of the fact that they may have loved that profession, when you're counting down the days until you're out of it, and especially when that finale involves moving back to your homeland it's easy to just "take the money" without putting in the extra effort. Sandra is awesome and I am really going to miss her. The scenes she did for me yesterday are the best she has ever done for me and I happy to say I have built up quite the backlog of updates for her for Captive Male that I will be spacing out over the next year.

Take care,
Chanta

Loving London

Damn I miss living here so much.

I missed the Quake!!!

I was on the plane headed for London Heathrow and we took off at 7:45pm...and then the 5.6 quake hit at 8pm so i totally missed it...DAMN! The biggest one II have ever felt is a 4.7 and would lobve to feel the difference...don't get me wrong I have no desire to feel anything stronger than a 6 but this one I would have liked to have felt.

Take care,
Chanta