The SSA is SOOOO depressing.

Ugh, honestly, I don't think I have ever been so depressed...and just to put this in perspective, I have travelled to 54 countries, most of which were 2nd and 3rd world and not felt so sorry for people as I did this morning. I had to head down there to (finally) apply for my SSN. The office in SF is on Market St at 5th and although it is not the worst part of town (one block down is signifigantly more awful) it was certainly a humbling experience.

Yes, I am stressed out about $$$, not having a job, etc but at the end of the day, I have healthcare (that I pay for) and I don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from...those 2 basic human needs are covered. No, I don't have $$$ to buy new clothes, or go on vacation, or splurge on some other luxury I really don't need (but would love to have) but I have a roof over my head, food in my belly and my health. So many of these people would have only been in their 30's and 40's and looked so much holder because of having a hard life filled with stress, hunger, violence and disability....and seeing this in what is supposed to be a "1st World Country" is just really upsetting. It made me think; did these people every stand a chance here? I write this tentatively in case immigration is reading my blog (LOL) but this government should be ashamed for the way it treats some of it's citizens, they are human beings too and in a 1st world country no one should go hungry, no one should be unable to afford healthcare (umm, because it should be free for all) and everyone should have a bed to sleep in.

Tired, time for bed!

Been kind if busy today, but not really productive if that makes any sense. I was upset all day by an LJ comment I am yet to delete. It was just cruel and hit me right where it hurts (CNE obviously). It is one of 2 people that wrote it and it really is heartless.

Anyway, found a couple of new models, talked to a couple of people with possible locations and edited the Adrianna video....I have to say I am kind of disappointed with it...my videographer's framing sucked and he kept decapitating me, amputating her...ugh, this was an expensive shoot with a good ass fucking and it sucks that it wasnlt shot better. Don;t get me wrong, my videograoher is doing amazingly well for someone that has been thrown into shooting this stuff but the framing has to be there...I can fix a lot in editing, but not that.

I also edited some vids for my friend Audrey Leigh for a site she may be starting. I have an entire hard drive of footage (like 30-40 hours) of stuff to edit for her but you know I really need the $$$. Unfortunately I'm a pretty fast editor so I may not make much $$$ out of it but something is better than nothing!

Goodnight!
Chanta

Back in SF!

Wow, what a busy few days! I do have to wonder if Adrianna is sick of me, as you know, I shot her for ChantasBitches on Monday. On Tuesday we shot together again for Muki's Kitchen, a wonderful still photography site that portrays cannibal fetish. On Tuesday, I was the entree which meant I had to play a submissive role and Adrianna a dominant one...well, that just felt odd to both of us! Wednesday, we shot agaon for Muki's and thei time I got to cook Adrianna. I oiled her up, stuffed her pussy with a banana and her mouth with an apple and then put her on the grill in a nice hogtie. While cooking, I covered her in delicious honey. Her tits looked so good with gold honey dripping from them that I just couldn't resist sucking them...mmmm, I think I officially have a crush on Adrianna!

Wednesday night I did a sex bondage class at the Pleasure Chest which was a lot of fun. The turnout was smaller than what I am used to (15-20 people) but that actually turned out to be a blessing as the teaching space is kind of small. More people may be fine for demos and lectures but not for a hands on class.

Thursday, I rigged the lovely Mz Berlin into her fist ever suspension style bondage positions. The pic here is a lovely rope hogtie with an asshook tied to her hair. Mz Berlin is such a wonderful enthusiastic submissive that I am hoping to get her to do a shoot for Chanta's Bitches in the near future.

I got back to Adrianna's and met up with Nina Hartley who, just like me believes that bondage is all about sex. When I am in LA again in March I am going to tie her upf ro her site and perhaps do a live cam show too...I can't wait, she is such an icon and it would be an absolute honor to bind her with my rope!

Friday I taught 2 private classes to couples, both were very different in style but were equally enjoyable. It's very important that this happened as my classes in AZ were AWFUL and I was seriously considering never teaching privately again, these nice couples have shown me that it's not the teaching of classes that is bad...it is teaching slimy fucks like the guy in AZ that is.

Okay, gotta go and get some boring tax stuff done!

Take care,
Chanta
p.s. Thank you so much to Dixie for the gift, I absolutely love the movie "Trainspotting" and it was lovely to arrive home after the 6 hour drive and have a surprise gift from you.

Adrianna is FUCKING SEXY!!!

Oh my god, I shot with Adrianna Nicole today (aka Seven, Petal Benson, etc) and she is just amazing! Things got off to a rough start when i noticed I had forgotten to pack the battery for the kino flo...the kino flo is basically the "money shot" light that sits on the front of the camera...without it, the pussy, ass, etc is not lit...which is bad. I raced back home (from the location in Pacifica) and grabbed it.

When I returned we were running 20 minutes late. Finally we got started and the shoot was going well but then the damn kino battery ran out of juice so we started moving around the omni's to light the "money shot"...next thing you know, one of the omni bulbs blow! Of course, I had spares with me but changing this bulbs is not easy...it basically involves dismantling the light...agh, and I have Adrianna in bondage so she can't wait.

By the time the omni was fixed, the kino was charged again so I finally got to fuck her in the ass! Unfortunately there wasn't really anything for me to tie her too so we had the sex without the bondage (the rest of the shoot had bondage) but she stuck my bog black cock in her ass and rode it like a champ while I grabbed and slapped her tits...mmm!

So, all in all, it was very stressful day BUT I think we got a fucking shit-hot shoot out of it so I'm sure it was worth all of the stress! That's 6 shoots now for Chanta's Bitches....4 more and I can finally launch, woohoo!

Bondage For Sex Guide!

Hey everyone,

I set up http://www.bondageforsexguide.com as a "voting" place for the book covers plus added a picture I would really like to have on the cover. For people that have commented her (by 11:26pm Saturday night) I have taken the liberty of plugging in your preferences already. I want to get as many people to vote (and comment) on this one as I feel the cover is very important to the success of the book. Suggestions are more than welcome!

Thanks,
Chanta

Okay, last cover for now.

My hubby likes this one the best...because he says you can tell from the cover that this book is all about learning to tie. He's right, it is good in that sense and it does display bondage...but I want something that screams "bondage that is for sex" while still being "nice" enough to be put on the shelves at Barnes and Noble. Votes for this cover please!

Another Cover

I'm actually a little annoyed about this one as I specifically said to NOT use the pics of breast bondage on the cover. To those of us familiar with bondage it's no big deal but I want people that are curious and don't know where to start to read this book and I feel this image could scare them away...again, votes for this cover needed!

A suggested cover for my new book

I think this one is too similar to Jay Wisemans's Erotic Bondage Handbook. Votes, yes or no for this one please!

A thing of beauty!!!

Yep, what could be better than breaking in a sexy bondage/s&m virgin like Satine and then ordering her to lick my ass!

Shoot coming soon to www.ChantasBitches.com

THANK YOU!!!

Someone sent me a gift from my amazon WishList! That has never happened before and I was so thrilled! I came home and saw an amazon box on my front steps and was surprised; I shop from amazon a lot but haven't recently. I opened it and sure enough there was a gift wrapped DVD with a lovely message inside. The movie was "Gattaga" which I absolutely LOVE. Unfortunately the gift didn't have an e-mail address or anything on it from who sent it so if you're reading this and it was you Thanks You so much. You really made my day.

Okay, now I can write!

It's been a busy few days. Don;t get me wrong; I like being busy...I just wish i got paid to be busy as opposed to me paying everyone to get my site/business started!

Yesterday I shot at a bar in the Soma district of San Francisco. I had to get up early (like 7:30am) and get everything ready, at 10am we loaded up the van and headed off to the space. At 11am we were let in and started setting up like crazy. The Bar is cool but the space is long and narrow which would have to be the worst ever type of room for setting up lights and shooting...we made it work but damn it wasn't easy! My model; Satine was half an hour late which sucked as the day needed to run on time. We started shooting at around 12:30pm and she had her first ever experience of being bitch slapped by a dominant woman...I just love breaking in virgins plkus she's just fucking sexy, mmm, a sexy bondage/s&m virgin to have my way with! We did lots of face slapping, tit flogging, forced orgasms and of course strap on sex. My only regret is that I only got to fuck her missionary and not doggy as we ran out of time!

After that I directed a scene for a new site starting down in LA which will feature tall, strong women and short men, it is supposed to have that amazon look to it. The guy was good but just a little too shy. I'll use him again but I need to bring him out of his shell somewhat. Hollie looked sexy as ever but I wish she had have been a bit more aggressive...but damn did she look good!

We didn't wrap until 7pm and then we had to break down. I was home by 7:30pm so you can see how fast we packed up! I haven;t tidied yet though...all of my shit is in the front room (lights, dildos, cameras, etc) and the hubby isn't happy, he doesn;t like it when the house looks like a porn studio LOL!

Today I went and checked out a location in the east bay which had a great grungy boiler room I just have to shoot in! Then Rick and I went and looked at linoleum for a new set I want to build. Then home to do some editing. I have now finished bithe the scene with Audrey and I as well as the scene where I dominate Penney. Next up is the DragonLily video!

Okay, have to go edit some pics now, ciao!

Will write soon!

I have been out checking out locations and then different flooring options for building a set at Rick's studio. Now I'm home I have to clean up the crap from yesterday (shooting on location) and get downstairs to do some editing! I'll write all about it once I cross these 2 things off my "to do" list...in the meantime here is a pic taken of me last week by a lovely and talented photographer.

Mojo!

Just finished a kickass shoot with DragonLily. Much better than the first 2 shoots I did, I slapped the shit out of her face, electrified her pussy, made her lick my ass (and boots), did some nice traditional japanese bondage and used a strap on on her...mmm, very nice!

I have my mojo back!

Editing, Editing, Editing!

Lucky I love editing right LOL!

I'm about half way through the shoot where Audrey dominates me, it is for a guy in Germany that really wanted to see me dominated. That one is taking me longer than I thought because the audio is out of sync with the video and I am having to manually line them up. It's not hard to do, it's just that I am a perfectionist and will notice if I am even one frame off and it will drive me crazy until I fix it.

Shooting DragonLily today in the small artists room we have below our house. It is the space where my books will be stored once they arrive so I figure I had better shoot there while I can.

Gotta go and set up,
Chanta

Hard Work!

Wow, I have spent months working on things and have felt so useless. I'm an impatient person. I hate that I wrote an entire book in 2 weeks and then I have to wait over 6 months to get it published and on shelves...but that's life, and I have always worked a lot faster than the rest of the world...that's why i ran 3 sites at CNE...everyone else ran 1 in a 40 hour week, I ran 3 and loved every minute of it!

Anyway, my point is, it seems that all of the hard work may soon actually be "visible", ie, will have a finished product! The book is in layout (finally), Chanta's Bitches already has 3 scenes shot, 1 scene video edited and one scene still pictures edited (well almost, I've done 220 pics). AgentSM is just waiting for the merchant account to be finalised and is pretty much ready to launch AND (this is the big one) I got a letter from the INS letting me know the date of my interview. If all goes well there I will then have a greencard and will be able to travel...UK and Aus here I come!

I am trying to focus on the positive. All of the projects I am working on have not and are not cheap...and after meeting with some investors that were kind of slimy they are all totally self funded...thus, I am almost broke BUT if they work out, it will have all been worth while.

Fingers crossed!

Chanta
p.s. Pic is from a "Chanta's Bitches" shoot yesterday with Madison Young!

Exhausted!

You know, I said at the end of today to my crew: "Wow, I have really earnt my dinner at Sizzler tonight" and they all rolled around laughing. Apparently going to sizzler is something only elderly people and white trash girls do...hmmm, well I love the baked potatoes and the chicken malibu so I don;t care, I have earnt it!

I am sooo tired. Shot 2 scenes for Chanta's Bitches today; one with Madison Young and one with Penney Play. Both girls are tough and have their own style. madison loves everything you do to her whereas Penney is whiny...but when you stop playing with her she wants more, I think to her it is a roleplay game!

I didn't feel "on point" with my domination. Madison even noticed...I thought I had lost my mojo but you know I havenlt really dominated any girls for over 9 months and I am re-learning my craft. yes, it comes naturally to me but I would notice just little things I would do wrong which 9 months ago I would have done perfectly. Madison says I am like a knife, I just need to be sharpened...I really like that analogy.

So now, I have 3 scenes to edit. The one where Audrey dominates me, the one where I dominate Madison and the one where I dominate Penney...mmmm! I'm really excited to be edting again!

Take care,
Chanta

A story about me! LOL

Someone wrote a story about myself, Kym Wilde and Mika Tan...check it out!

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/stories/story.php?storyid=4033

Amazon Ranking AGH!

So, I am going to ask readers to do me a funny little favor LOL!

Got to amazon.com and search for the book "Pornified". Find my review and say it was helpful to you! I love reviewing books and DVD's on Amazon but this book was just so one sided that I had to say so in my review, etc but I gues most people buying this book are against porn so everyone is saying my review isn't helpful and my ranking is dropping...I need some good feedback to improve it!

Got my ass beat by Audrey today...I am an awful submissive to women...but that's another journal entry!

Take care,
Chanta

I am totally a man!

I knew. All my past boyfriends, etc have said that I act like a man (well hey, I have the sex drive of a man) and I do love to fuck girls...and I don't have a lot of the catty bullshit that girls can have...agh, I am a man!

Masculine You scored 80 masculinity and 30 femininity!

You scored high on masculinity and low on femininity. You have a traditionally masculine personality.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 85% on masculinity You scored higher than 2% on femininity

Link: The Bem Sex Role Inventory Test written by weirdscience on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

2006 Plans!

Well, after my last, very depressing post I thought I should follow up with something a little more hopeful. I really do appreciate the support I get from people who leave comments, etc. You'd be surprised how much it helps in making me feel a little better. Okay, so let's see what's on the table for 2006!

My book will be released, so not only will I be a rigger, pornstar but will also be an Author LOL! I think it sounds a lot more prestigious than it actually is! Now I just have to hope that it sells! I will also start writing my next book on Electro-Play.

Chanta's Bitches will launch. Basically my own little version of whippedass (which was always my favorite site). I start shooting for this next Monday.

Possible Director/Editor gigs. Okay, well this is nothing hugely exciting but it will bring me some income and I haven't had any in many, many, many months. It's hard to feel good about yourself when you don't have a job.

AgentSM will open. I am a partner in this online store and have had many cool items made for it, as well as doing all of the photography.

The US Government will finally give me permission to travel and I'll be able to visit my family in Australia and my friends in the UK.

Look, none of this will replace CNE but I am trying too move on and do other things. I'm trying very hard.

2005 SUCKED!

I, for one, am very happy to see the end of 2005. It was easily the worst year of my life. I never knew true pain, depression or understood people that considered suicide until this year...and now that I have felt all of this (and continue to do so) I can empathize.

Maybe anything and everything can be seen in a positive light but I am a factual person and I prefer brutal truth to sugar coating, here was some of the "ugly" from 2005:

Cancer came back, spreading itself nicely throughout my lymph nodes on route to my lungs. No it's didn't meet it's final destination, had it I very well may be dead. I suppose beating it is good but having it was bad, and treating it was ugly. Writing a will at my age is also a haunting experience.

I lost the love of my life. No, not a person but rather my job at CNE. My home, my base, my reason for getting up in the morning, my purpose, my direction...all gone. I still haven't unpacked my desk from there. It sits in a bag at the end of my bed and I just can't bring myself to go through it. I still love that job and cry myself to sleep most nights.

I was informed that my marriage was invalid...and that I was still married to my ex-husband, thus, I could be deported from the US at any time...and I am a bigamist. All because of a paperwork mess up over 3 years ago that I would have known nothing about.

Went to Arizona to teach some private classes, got underpaid and treated like a whore by some disgusting man with the ugliest cock I have ever seen. He booked a class, but really wanted a peep show and when he didn't get it got nasty in a passive aggressive way. Left AZ, emotionally scarred and am rethinking teaching classes at all as a result.

And this is just what happened to me. Don;t even get me started on all of the break ups and deaths of the year. I really need 2006 to be better or I dare say I will not see 2007.